The Three Stages of PMS

By Daryl Elliott (Written November, 2006)

Over the past year, I have found that a great number of the female population in America goes through something called PMS. This is where they throw all reason out the door and let their emotions take control! (This is one reason why a woman should not be president.)

It's only come to my attention lately that this PMS stands for three things and lasts from the 1st of the month until the 30th or, if applicable, the 31st. Let's break this down.

May 1st – 10th: Pre Menstrual Syndrome

May 11th – 20th: Present Menstrual Syndrome

May 21st – 31st: Post Menstrual Syndrome

A solution: Avoid the females?

Wrong. They're everywhere.

You can't start a conversation or walk half a mile without running into a girl - a nagging, grumbling hag whose sole purpose in life is to annoy the crap out of men.

Girls need to stop trying to be men and realize they have a problem. It's called PMS.

No more delusions of having a job or being, as they call it, "independent." We already got our independence (because of men) over 200 years ago. You owe us for that one, ladies. Did you see any women fighting the Brits? I didn't think so.

... I'm too afraid to tag all of my female friends for this note. Just know, if I had the courage too, I would.

However, I value my existence.